There are two minuses about Jelena Jensen (36D-26-36): her forearms are a little bit hairy and her boobs are a little bit smaller than I’d prefer. But she has a great butt and a beautiful face, so I am grudgingly willing to overlook the hairiness and smallness factors. What’s more, I’m willing to let her bang me for a mere $100 a pop.



Most of the information that I found about her pretty much read like a resume. I wouldn’t be surprised if she wrote the 411 herself. By all accounts, she is a very ambitious girl. She’s of German heritage, obtained a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Film and Television Production with an Emphasis in Producing in college and graduated Magna Cum Laude (that sounds like a risqué sexual position). She has done a lot of marketing work in the porn industry but isn’t a porn star. She just poses for photos and videos in some very, very, very, very, very ... very, very, very, revealing ways. In other words, she’s a porn star. Since I like to keep my blog relatively clean, I have only included the relatively tame pictures of her.



Anyway, it’s been pretty quiet on the homefront lately which is why I haven’t posted sooner. I just downloaded Justin Timberlake’s song, “Rock Your Body”, off of iTunes and, being that I am a straight male, I feel kind of weird about it. As a matter of fact, I’m listening to it right now as I am typing out this post.



If you know me, you know that I like to take things down to the wire. Whenever I have to do a homework assignment, I literally finish it and print it out about five minutes before I have to head off to class. But I always keep my head above water. In fact, I pretty much get mostly A’s without even trying. This is why I was nonplussed to realize that I got a “C” on an essay that I turned in recently. My narcissism was offended. In retaliation, I fucking savaged my teacher’s choice of literature in the worst possible way during class. During the next class, I savaged it even further. The class was amused but in a good way because they were fascinated with what I had to say. Maybe because it was so visceral and outrageous. They were oblivious that I was taking out my frustrations on my teacher. I’m a total passive-aggressive. Needless to say, I think that I really hurt the teacher’s feelings. At the time I didn’t give a flying fuck because I was so pissed.



When I discussed the matter with my psychiatrist, she helped me realize where I was wrong. In addition, she suggested that I apologize. Fair enough. So in the next class, I went back to the teacher to apologize for being “too aggressive”. He told me that it was alright and that if I had gone too far, he would have let me know. But, he added, I was on the “borderline”. Of course, this is the polite way of saying that I did, in fact, take it too far.

This is a major problem I have. When I get really worked up, I become a marksman with a hair trigger. Whatever slips out of my mouth can be so cutting. When I was in my senior year in high school -- just after the worst time of my life -- I was a million times worse than I am now because I was for the first time put on anti-depressants. This allowed my mood to stabilize and, in turn, I became much more outspoken and, in turn, this got me into a lot of hot water because I had a really short fuse and I would always shoot my mouth off. And I had a major chip on my shoulder to boot.



Whenever I thought that someone was offending me (whether imagined or not), I would blast them with everything in my arsenal. I’d drop a hydrogen bomb like I was flipping off a switch. You people out there (if there are people actually reading this stupid blog) have no idea. I did this to whoever. There was this 6’4” football hotshot and homecoming king that I tormented relentlessly. Fortunately, he was just a gentle giant. However, on one occasion someone I offended got so pissed that he grabbed a chair and was on the verge of bludgeoning me with it. For whatever reason, he didn’t. And I left that room but quick. Ah yes, those were the days.